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My impersonation of Google

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  1. <html><head>
  2. <title>Goofle Web Search</title>
  3. <style>
  4. body{font:16px verdana;background-color:#fff;color:#000}
  5. #out{width:60%}
  6. </style><script>
  7.  
  8. String.prototype.replaceAll=function(a,b){return this.split(a).join(b)}
  9. function ge(s){return document.getElementById(s)}
  10.  
  11. function addglink(glink){
  12.  var s="<p>";
  13.  s+="<br><a href='http://";
  14.  s+=glink.address;
  15.  s+="'>";
  16.  s+=glink.title;
  17.  s+="</a><br>";
  18.  s+=glink.text;
  19.  s+="<br><font color=#008000>";
  20.  s+=glink.address;
  21.  s+="</font>";
  22.  return s;
  23. }
  24.  
  25. function go(){
  26.  setTimeout("gload()",500);
  27.  ge("main").style.display="none";
  28. }
  29.  
  30. function gload(){
  31.  var q=ge("in").value;
  32.  var o="";
  33.  if(q){
  34.   var r=q.replaceAll(" ","-");
  35.   var s="<b>"+q+"</b>";
  36.   var glink=new Object();
  37.  
  38.   glink.title="Find "+s+" on eBay!";
  39.   glink.text="eBay has "+s+" and tons of other great gift ideas! Find it on eBay!";
  40.   glink.address="www.ebay.com/"+r;
  41.  
  42.   o+=addglink(glink);
  43.  
  44.   o+="<hr>"
  45.  
  46.   glink.title="All the "+s+" you could ever ask for!";
  47.   glink.text="This site has been discontinued. Thanks to all the loyal members who made it such a success.";
  48.   glink.address="www."+r+".com";
  49.  
  50.   o+=addglink(glink);
  51.  
  52.   glink.title="Does anyone know where I can find "+s+"?";
  53.   glink.text="1 post<br>0 replies";
  54.   glink.address="www.random-forum.com/bb.php?threadid=49672357";
  55.  
  56.   o+=addglink(glink);
  57.  
  58.   glink.title="No "+s+" allowed!";
  59.   glink.text="No "+s+" allowed on this site. By using this site, you agree to the terms and conditions stated herein. Any use of this site by persons...";
  60.   glink.address="www.srs.biz/terms.html";
  61.  
  62.   o+=addglink(glink);
  63.  
  64.   glink.title="Porn shopping viagra "+s+" gambling";
  65.   glink.text="penis enlargement, "+s+", granny porn, concert tickets, pokemon, orange juice, gay sex, christmas tunes, nipple slip, mp3, anal...";
  66.   glink.address="www.antsnrvg.com/hepzhszr.html";
  67.  
  68.   o+=addglink(glink);
  69.  
  70.   glink.title="The site for all who hate "+s;
  71.   glink.text="I really hate "+s+". People who search for "+s+" are weirdos. They should all be brutally murdered.";
  72.   glink.address="www.anti-"+r+".com";
  73.  
  74.   o+=addglink(glink);
  75.  
  76.   glink.title="All the best "+s+" links";
  77.   glink.text="Page last modified on 5/29/1997"
  78.   glink.address="www.oldarchives.com/"+r+".html";
  79.  
  80.   o+=addglink(glink);
  81.  
  82.   glink.title="Youtube - This aint no "+s;
  83.   glink.text="See music videos by The Flaming Nutsacks";
  84.   glink.address="www.youtube.com/video?watch=275355662";
  85.  
  86.   o+=addglink(glink);
  87.  
  88.   glink.title="I was talkin to my girlfriend about "+s;
  89.   glink.text="...so then I tole her about the "+s+" an she said that was ok but then i had to go take her to the back of the building and the whole time i was...";
  90.   glink.address="boringdork.blogger.com";
  91.  
  92.   o+=addglink(glink);
  93.  
  94.   glink.title="Some bastard stole my "+s;
  95.   glink.text="...as I stepped on the bus, the jerk grabbed my "+s+" and ran away. I was already late, so I couldn't go chasing after him.";
  96.   glink.address="busyguy.blogspot.com";
  97.  
  98.   o+=addglink(glink);
  99.  }
  100.  ge("out").innerHTML=o;
  101.  ge("main").style.display="block";
  102.  scrollBy(0,-10000);
  103. }
  104.  
  105. </script></head><body onload="ge('in').focus()"><center>
  106. <div id=main>
  107. <h1>Goofle</h1>
  108. <input id=in onkeypress="if(event.keyCode==13)go()">
  109. <button onclick=go()>Search</button>
  110. </center>
  111. <div id=out></div>
  112. </div>
  113. </body></html>

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