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All of the virtues develop through practice. We don’t develop goodness in children simply by talking about it. As educator John Agresto puts it, “Character development is not a spectator sport.”\r\n\r\nThere are many ways we can provide our children with opportunities to practice the virtues. For starters, we can give them real responsibilities in family life: housework, yard work, helping to prepare meals and clean up, taking care of younger siblings, and so on. A mother of three sons (ages two, four, and six) says, “The rule in our house is that you get a chore for each year of your age. Our boys are all very proud of what they do.” Kids should not be paid for these regular chores; such jobs are the way they contribute to the family. When they get to be school age, they can be given an allowance—a separate matter—as one of the benefits of family life and taught how to spend it wisely.\r\n\r\nAnother of our children’s important responsibilities is to do their best work in school and make the most of their education. Homework is part of that responsibility. Children should see homework not only as a means of getting good grades but as an opportunity to develop habits of good character such as self-discipline and putting duty before pleasure. They should understand that to do homework shoddily or not at all shows poor self-discipline and a lack of respect for the teacher, who typically has designed the homework to extend or reinforce school learning. Parents can help kids form good homework habits by establishing (1) a system, such as a daily planner, for keeping track of homework assignments; (2) a homework study time—ideally, the same time each day; and (3) a homework study area where they can work without distraction.\r\n\r\nHelping children learn to set and work toward goals develops the virtues of planning, organization, and perseverance. My colleague Michele Borba interviewed a California father of seven whose children were known to be likable, courteous, and hardworking. He was asked what he did that might explain why his children turned out so well:

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